Why Does My Authenticity Offend You So Much?

Last week, I shared a post about being excluded from a women’s circle. The responses were overwhelmingly supportive - filled with love and encouragement. Yet, one comment stood out: a dissenting voice claiming I could never truly be a woman.

I’m not here to shame this person for their beliefs. We’re all shaped by our environments, the bubbles we live in, and our personal histories. But I feel compelled to address this - not to argue, but to help inform a conversation that goes beyond me or even the trans community.

Because this isn’t just about trans people.

It’s about all of us - the kind of societies we want to create, the values we want to embody, & how we show up in the world.

There are as many “realities” as there are people on this planet. Each of us walks a unique path, shaped by our unique experiences. Yet we seem to have a persistent need to impose narrow definitions of “right” and “wrong” on others, rooted in rigid beliefs we’ve been taught to accept.

When we judge or police someone’s identity - whether trans, cis, or otherwise - we undermine something fundamental: their right to exist authentically. This fosters division and harm instead of building a world of inclusion, compassion, and connection.

No one chooses to be trans - no one ! We simply choose to live authentically, to stop pretending, and to finally live & thrive.

So I ask: Why does that threaten you ? Why does my happiness and liberation offend you so deeply ?

Suppressing someone’s right to exist authentically does not make the world safer, fairer, or kinder. It only creates harm.

I would really like to know :

 • How am I, someone dedicated to empowering women, oppressing women ?

 • How does having allies for women’s rights diminish anyone else’s fight ?

 • What belief is so fiercely protected that it blinds people to the humanity of others ?

I am not a trans advocate; I am an authenticity advocate. I believe in the right of every person, including the commenter, to live as their true self, free from judgment and fear. That belief is not up for debate.

This isn’t about changing minds - it’s about opening hearts. It’s about creating a world where courage and compassion coexist, no matter how different our truths may look.

And so, I thank this commenter for their gift. Not because I agree, but because it’s an opportunity to talk. To normalise the right of trans people - and ALL people - to live and thrive.

Who do we want to be ? Can we create space for others, or do we really want to cling so tightly to our own identities that we suffocate theirs ?

For me, the answer is clear.

Love Bobbi ❤️

Wisdom speaker | Transformation Coach | Trans Woman | Model